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Its not your fault, Senator Cornyn

July 28, 2009

Senator Cornyn: Not my fault, none at all. It can happen to the best of us.  Let me assure you I wasn’t drunk either. It is just all so confusing, can’t you see. It will take a rocket scientist or a foreign policy expert (which is much more difficult) to understand as to which country is with whom and who is dealing with the other. The world is in a chaos. The good old days when the world was firmly divided between ‘us’ and ‘them’ are over. The best of us can’t make out as to which side we are on. I am almost getting nostalgic for the times when the world was clearly divided between the Communist East and the Capitalist West. You knew where you stood and one could criticize the other without a thought. It was very clearly laid out, you know. Times have changed. India used to be on the other side of the fence (though they said they were right in the middle but everyone knew they were firmly with Communist USSR) now it appears they are with us. People still think most Indians are Commies and that is why they are so poor. Why don’t the blighted state department guys keep us posted? Maybe they are as confused about the whole game as we all are.

The author: The comment by Texas Senator John Cornyn’s which was reported in the Times of India, 27th of July, 2009, ran thus:  

”It (the F-22 program) is important to our national security because we’re not just fighting wars in Afghanistan and Iraq,” Texas’ Republican Senator John Cornyn said in a TV interview. “We’re fighting – we have graver threats and greater threats than that: From a rising India, with increased exercise of their military power; Russia; Iran, that’s threatening to build a nuclear weapon; with North Korea, shooting intercontinental ballistic missiles, capable of hitting American soil.”

Turns out the Senator had a ‘slip of the tongue.’

”Senator Cornyn misspoke saying ‘India’ when he meant to say ‘China.’ As Founder and Co-chairman of the Senate India Caucus, no Senator has greater respect or admiration for India or values our relationship with them more. Sen. Cornyn regrets the mistake and apologizes for any misunderstanding this may have caused,” his spokesman Kevin McLaughlin clarified after the remarks were brought to his notice.


Senator Cornyn again: But how can one be sure that the silly Indians have not done something foolish to overturn the applecart? For did not the President say the other day that ‘the relationship between China and the US will define the 21st century?’ Mighty confusing, all of this!  And then are not the Indians being leased nuke subs by the Russians, in a ‘secret deal?’ They are buying an aircraft carrier from the Russians too.  And the Indians are our friends? And the Europeans keep running to Moscow for gas all the time making deals for cheaper energy. We are all dealing with Russia, are we not? And Russia is our enemy. Indians are friends of Russia, and they are our friends too. And Pakistan is our strategic partner but the Chinese are their closest ally, that chap Gilani, their prime minister said the other day. The Chinese are our enemies, for God’s sake, make this one come right! But no, the president said that the US was a ‘strategic and economic’ partner of China, just yesterday!’ For do they not save our butt by buying our Treasury Bonds so that we can get the wretched economy moving and all that mumbo jumbo about a huge health care plan and how it will cost billions and how the Chinese are subsidizing our huge deficit!! Gosh, this is getting out of hand.

Oh! But this can’t be, the other day the Chinese and the Russians were conducting joint military exercise in parts of China, they call it Xinjiang, don’t they? Yeah! They had their planes, all of forty ferocious fighter jets and tanks and armored vehicles too. Quite an impressive show, that!! I got it, the Chinese and the Russians are our enemies and the blighted Indians have fallen on our lap now. This does it, Kevin McLaughlin, my spokesman was right after all. Thank God I won’t have to apologize to the Chinese for clubbing them with Iran and North Korea. Has the presidency changed? Well just sometime back good ol’ Georgie was talking about the ‘axis of evil’. But we are in Iraq now, are we not? So the Chinese replace …….. no, no can’t be. Its too much of an ask!! It will take a lot of doing. Oh! Well, don’t they say, the more things change, the more they remain the same. Welcome to the real world Mr. President!!!  Heave ho! Let the F22 roll on, we need them now, don’t we???

Update 3oth of July, 2009: Senator John Cornyn has now gone on to say that India is America’s ‘strongest ally’. Clearly the guy is befuddled and is trying to make up for the earlier goof up. The comedy is that the more he tries to clear the air, the more he ties himself up in knots!!

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